Category Archives: HIding

God’s Perfect Timing…..

2015-12-18_16-47-16I am in such awe at the thought of how many times God’s timing has proved itself to be “perfect”. I would say that there are also MANY times I have not understood His path… at first. I am reminded of the saying I once heard….

“God does not say no, He says, not now.”

As mere humans, this can be such a hard thing to hear. We pray for a situation and in our hearts, wait for that answer and many times think the outcome will be one scenario or another, and then we wait ….

God might have a different plan from our desires and many times, He does. If we can only sit back and let God work His plan, we will see in the end His perfect love and answer. Is this easy? NO, it is not. In fact, at some times during our pain, we might get depressed.

I want to tell a sweet story about how God answered a prayer in His timing and how the end result was incredible, or in this case, perfect.

As many of you know, my sweet daughter in law lost her dear little dog, Holly. She loved Holly and she was her little furry companion. Holly was such a sweet part of her life when she was going through so many trials. In September, Holly became very ill and died in Addy’s arms. God has to have a plan in his vast master blueprint for pets in our world. They give us so much joy and comfort. Their requirement of food and shelter matches our need to give. When they are gone, we are left with heavy emptiness.

Holly was not just a pet; she was a confident, a girl friend, a soft pillow, a late night girlie movie best bud.

I remember my daughter in law asking me to pray for them to find another pet to fill that very lonely void. As we all know, a new pet cannot replace our lost friends, but they can fill a hole of loneliness. Tears turn into laughter.

So here is her story. My daughter in law found her little perfect fury friend. The cutest little white Pomeranian came available in Florida, but so far away! They lived in the Mid-west!!! But this sweet little boy was perfect. How could God have the perfect puppy so far away? But my daughter-in-law could not get this sweet white ball of fur out of her heart. She called about him even though the miles were far and the center informed her they just adopted him out. Addy would have found a way to get to him, but he was gone to someone else. Why did God allow this to happen? He was perfect.

So, let’s fast forward… a couple months.

Addy still prayed for a dog. She still longed for this little sweet pup called “Pumpkin.”

God was not saying NO, He was saying, NOT NOW. Wait Addy, wait for me to allow my plan to be perfect.

God knew Addy was going to be in Florida in December. The day before she arrived in Florida, (3 hours away from the site where this sweet pup was adopted), God plan was going into effect. The family that adopted Pumpkin, realized they were too old to handle an active little puppy. Sweet little “Pumpkin” was again up for adoption the day Addy was to arrive in Florida, 3 hours away. NOTE: Addy was initially 25 hours away!!!

Addy called the center and they told Addy, she could adopt “Pumpkin.”

SO, what is the message! Many times God puts a plan on hold for a reason. We might become impatient, or upset that we think God is saying NO, but what He is saying is…. not now and please wait for me to work thing out. We may hurt and desire to have an answer and even want to take the reins but God has a perfect plan.

It is not easy to wait. But God does have a plan and His plan is perfect.

PS… his name is now “Meiko”

Self-Reflection, part one.

Photograph by Christina Toole  Photography(R)
Photograph by Christina Toole Photography(R)

There was another blog I wanted to write today, but I felt that I wanted to share with you a tool I use to help me reflect on who I am and who I feel God wants me to be. Psalm 139:14 says: “I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.”

In other words we are all unique, again God made no mistake when He made you. You are exactly who He wanted you to be, but it is up to us to take care of our bodies, our minds, our gifts…..

I started a while back my own unique statements that define me. Some were for a season, but they still seem to fit. I add to them often.

I hope you start a list like this and read it often.

  1. My life is like an unfinished painting. There is always something to tweak.
  2. Everything in life is about balance.
  3. What deep wounds ever closed without a scar? (Lord Byron)
  4. Our scars remind of us our incredible journey.
  5. Stop, close your eyes, breathe deeply and relax
  6. It is not the failure, it is how we turn that failure into our growth.
  7. Eventually all the pieces fall into place, until then, laugh at the confusion, live in the moment and know that everything happens for a reason.
  8. When you repeat a mistake, it Is not a mistake anymore, it is a decision
  9. God makes no mistakes
  10. A true friend is to is to see all of their magic, and to remind them how magical they are when they have forgotten it themselves.
  11. Love is that unselfish desire to meet the needs of the cherished object.
  12. Just when you think you have me all figured out, the seasons are already changing.
  13. We are shaped and fashioned by what we love.
  14. I can be a blank canvas some days, but the goal is to end up with beautiful paint at the end of the day all over me!
  15. Music makes me change my mine from grumpy to happy.
  16. Be kind to yourself when you think you have failed.
  17. We cannot control the filters that others choose when they look at us. God made us who we are supposed to be.
  18. Life is like a piano; white keys are the happy moments, black keys are sad moments, but together, they play beautiful music.
  19. On days you do not want to do anything else, go to the piano shack and play music loud.
  20. A true relationship is two imperfect people refusing to give up on one another.
  21. Love can be just a word, but when you find someone it fits, it becomes a definition.

God lays on my heart what to say.

Sunday, June 9, 2013 ……“la mia ragazza, io metterò il vostro segreto nel vault per sempre” Italian for….. “My girlfriend, I will put your secret in the vault forever.”

Recently God sent me a precious gift.  Well, he sent the gift to my son, but He knew she would be perfect for me too.  Let me back up, some time ago, my son told me he met a girl that was just like me.  He happily told me, “mom, she likes to shop, she likes bling, she likes purses, and she is so ‘you’.”   I first had to stop and smile because my son always saw the softer side of me. He looked beyond the business suits, the business trips I had to take, and the too many long hours I worked … he saw me with my hair down, barefoot slumped on the couch for family night movies when we all fell asleep together somewhere during the movie.  Then I cried tears of pure happiness as his words touched my heart as he described Addy.   …. romance story will be another blog I am sure…. But let me jump to our “girl’s time.”

Addy called me awhile back and suggested I fly down to visit her while my son was in SERE training.  SERE stands for:  “Survival, Evasion, Resistant and Escape” training.   Addy called me and said, “Mamma, we need to get to know each other and spend some time together.”

God had it all planned, I desperately needed some rest after some challenges in my life.  My major contract ended, my health took a challenging turn,  I had no reason to not take time off to the sun and much needed “girl time.”

While my new “daughter” and I spent days and nights talking about our stories, our childhood, our challenges we shared tears, our dreams and sorrows, we shared tears, bible verses, and bonded like a mother and daughter.  We hand painted glasses, shopped for “pretties” for their new home they will share in a few months together and learned all about each other.  We opened our hearts like mothers and daughters do (a gift just a bit different from a son!!).  I learned daughters do not mind giggling and dressing up, putting on hair extensions and sharing earrings!!  Some that know me well know I lost 4 children prior to Robert, my precious son and one after him.  I am sure at least one of those babies was a daughter God is caring for until I get to Heaven to hold.

But the gift I want to share with you is something my new precious new daughter taught me….. she said upon my sharing a deep secret that I hold deep within my soul….   “I will put that secret in the vault” I had never heard that before.  I asked her what that meant.  She said…. That means, as a daughter in Christ, I will put what you shared with me in a place where any share pieces of the heart can be safe, tucked away forever.  WOW.  That is powerful.  My new daughter has bonded a piece of my heart to hers!!

Just think if this precious daughter that will soon be my son’s wife can hold my heart in safety, how much can our Savior hold our hearts in His safety?

I am reminded of Psalm 5:11 King James Version (KJV)

11 But let all those that put their trust in thee rejoice: let them ever shout for joy, because thou defendest them: let them also that love thy name be joyful in thee.

Tuesday, January 1, 2013. Walls we have build in 2012.

While up in the mountains this past Christmas, I sat and watch a young couple throw snowballs at each other.  After about 10 snow balls hit the young woman, she decide to protect herself and she started building a wall of snow to hide behind.  She piled more and more snow on her wall to protect herself.  The young man was trying as hard as he could to hit her, unaware of the wall she was building, he was focused on hitting her with a fresh snowball.  She was not even dodging the snow balls anymore, she was more intent on getting her wall up for protection.  I thought about how as women, we do this in our own life’s.  Men seem to put feeling in a room within a window and close the door and move on.  What men do not understand is that once a woman builds that wall of protection, it is only her that can take it down.  The more snowballs of hurt that are thrown, the higher or deeper the wall becomes.  We build them in silence to those around us.  Have you build a wall yourself?  Are you hiding behind a wall to feel safe.  Do you occasionally take down some of the wall then build it back up again?  I think we all build walls of some sort.

Monday, December 31, 2012. New Years Eve Masks.

What are our masks we wear everyday?  Do we have different masks for different moods or people in our life?  I know I do.  I think it is actually normal to have several masks ,,,,  the  mask of happiness when we are at work but underneath we are morning the passing of our little cat we love, or the  mask of excitement for a friend that has just told you she is in love, but you want love ourself so much you could just cry.   Remember the saying, what you see is what you get?  I have a favorite saying that explains me perfectly for those out there that want to figure me out…. just when you think you’ve got me figured out the season’s already changing.