I woke out of a sound sleep with the blog for today. Wow, was I dreaming it? Or was God whispering this to me. Ok, either way (and I am sure it was the latter) I need to get it down. Remember the blog I wrote a couple days back about the walls we as women put up? The story about the young couple and the snowballs? Well, I have thought over the years what could prevent a woman from building those walls or at least not too high!
I call it the “emotional well”
As we get busy in our daily life, we get drawn into ourself and go about doing “our thing.” We sing and flitter around and keep focussed on what where we are going. Sometimes what we are doing is not quite in line with what our spouses or our loved ones are doing. I am talking about husbands and wives, daughter and moms, boyfriend and girlfriends. AND, if that other person gets in our verse…. I am talking about .. We are singing a song and he interrupts you in the MIDDLE of the verse right when you are singing about the emotional stuff. You glare at him for not realizing you were not done with your final emotional drama. He wants to say something and needs to say it now as he is also in his mode of getting ready for work or feels his man- thoughts are more important than yours. Inside you think…. I am still in the emotional draw of my song and you don’t care. You feel you are not even there!
So, this is where you both draw into your “emotional wells.” Ok, here is the catch…. to draw something out, you have to had put something in, right? I believe if we both make an effort (and to put something in is an effort) to put in MORE than we know the other will take out. You see, you put in so when you are not thinking and are grumpy, the other can draw from it when you snnaaaap. If you never put into the well your love, your kindness, your humor, your consideration, when you need to snnnaaaap, there is nothing for the other person to draw from. And believe me they will snnnnaaapppp back in a big way. BUT, if you have a ton of inputs into the well, the other person feels safe. They know you will put back into the well. I hope this all makes sense. It is actually human nature. But it only works if you both work hard on giving (putting into the well) and if you put in more than you draw on.
Later I will blog about what to do if you are putting into the emotional well and he is adding…. well, nothing!!! OR if after years, you just doing feel safe anymore.