"Cheryl Wilson Artist Website"

While once talking to a counselor about marriage and how differences in a marriage should make it more exciting but as we age, they seem to make it harder to connect, at least for me.  As I seemed to become so set in my ways, I seemed to dig in my feet and stand firm to change!! 

In my journey, I discovered that I had been expecting my marriage to be equal in emotions. I longed for a perfect balance, where both my husband and I would experience the same depth of emotions at all times. However, I came to realize that emotions are unique to each individual. We all have different ways of processing and expressing our feelings. It is unrealistic to expect our emotional experiences to mirror each other perfectly.

To further the journey, I found that it is possible for inequality to arise when one spouse has ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). ADHD can bring unique challenges to a relationship, as it may impact attention span, organization, impulsivity, and overall functioning. The non-ADHD spouse might find themselves taking on additional responsibilities and compensating for their partner’s difficulties. However, it is important to approach this situation with empathy, understanding, and patience. So where was the “equalness” I was demanding in my marriage?  While the marriage may be unequal in certain aspects, with understanding and the right tools, I have found that I can navigate these challenges and build a strong, resilient partnership …. But with God’s help.

Instead of demanding this perfect balance in my marriage, I learned to embrace the beautiful diversity of emotions within our marriage. I discovered that our differences in emotional responses could actually complement and strengthen our bond. By accepting and understanding that equality in emotions does not mean sameness, I found freedom and a deeper appreciation for the rich tapestry of emotions that exist within our relationship.

Here are my thoughts…..   Marriage is a sacred union, a covenant between two individuals joined together in love and commitment. While many envision a marriage built on equality, the reality is that it is not always perfectly balanced. However, from a Christian perspective, happiness can still be found in the midst of an unequal marriage. By embracing God’s design and seeking His guidance, we can discover profound joy, growth, and fulfillment in our marital journey.

1. Surrendering to God’s Plan

In a Christian marriage, finding happiness requires surrendering to God’s plan and accepting that equality does not always mean sameness. Recognize that each spouse has unique strengths, weaknesses, and roles within the relationship. Embrace the biblical principles that guide marriage, understanding that God has designed each partner with specific purposes and responsibilities.

2. Embracing Selflessness

In an unequal marriage, finding happiness involves embracing selflessness and serving one another wholeheartedly. Follow the example of Jesus, who humbly served and sacrificed for His disciples. As a Christian, prioritize the needs and well-being of your spouse above your own. This sacrificial love creates an atmosphere of trust, compassion, and unity, fostering happiness within the marriage.

3. Cultivating Effective Communication

Open and honest communication is vital in any marriage, especially in an unequal one. From a Christian perspective, approach conversations with humility, grace, and a willingness to listen. Share your thoughts, concerns, and feelings with your spouse, allowing them to do the same. Seek understanding and find common ground, working together to navigate the challenges that arise. Effective communication builds a foundation of trust and fosters a sense of happiness and connection.

4. Nurturing Spiritual Intimacy

One of the greatest sources of happiness in a Christian marriage is the shared spiritual journey. While roles may differ, both partners can grow together in their faith. Encourage and support each other’s spiritual growth, praying together, studying God’s Word, and seeking His guidance as a couple. By nurturing spiritual intimacy, you create a bond that transcends earthly inequalities, fostering a deep sense of joy and fulfillment.

5. Finding Contentment in God

True happiness in an unequal marriage comes from finding contentment in God alone. Recognize that your ultimate fulfillment and purpose rest in your relationship with Him. Seek His guidance, wisdom, and strength to navigate the challenges of an unequal marriage. Find solace in His unchanging love, knowing that He has a divine plan for your marriage and will equip you to find happiness in the midst of any circumstances.

In a Christian perspective, a marriage may not always be equal in terms of roles and responsibilities. However, happiness can still be found when we align ourselves with God’s design. Embrace selflessness, prioritize effective communication, nurture spiritual intimacy, and surrender to God’s plan. By doing so, we can experience profound joy, growth, and fulfillment in our marriage, even in its inequalities.

You say, Cheryl this is not fair…. I hear you BUT…  Remember, true happiness is found in God, and He will guide us to find contentment and purpose in every season of our marital journey.