"Cheryl Wilson Artist Website"

SCENARIO from a friend……

“I recently felt a wave of sadness come over me when I realized that there are few people in my life that truly cherished me in a deep respecting way.  Time after time I allowed those that I loved to snap at me when they felt it was their right to do so and I said nothing.  I was questioned by others as if I was not a respected adult while this same action would NEVER be tolerated towards other members of their family.  I always felt I was to be kind and not snap back, not stand up for myself or say anything back to someone when they treated me with disrespect, in other words, I tolerated disrespectful behavior without saying anything. This further enabled the behavior. I felt to admit no one cherished me would be to admit people perhaps did not like me or respect me enough to care about my feelings.   

What was I doing to allow people to treat me with disrespect and not honor me in the way I should be treated?  Was there something in my own actions that displayed a low self-esteem or self-worth?

Reflecting on the way people treated me took a deep examination of my actions, my boundaries I had set up and a review of how I felt about my own self-worth; this was hard.  I had to recognize that I have the power to influence how others treat me by the way I allowed them to treat me. 

But how do I change the way others treated me without seeming selfish?”

Here is my response to this scenario.

First: Develop Self Empowering Skills

First it is important to understand this is not about blaming yourself for allowing this to happen to you, but rather a time to start empowering yourself to make positive changes within.  What does that look like?  When reassessing ones self-worth, ask yourself: what can I do to re assure myself that it is ok to set firm boundaries, demanded the respect I deserve, to change the behavior. It might feel like you are not being the kind Christian  you feel you are supposed to be which in turns translates to letting others talk to you the way they want to.  This hurts deeply. 

We can transform the dynamics of our relationships and create an environment where we are honored and treated with the dignity we deserve. It begins with recognizing our own value and making a conscious decision to no longer accept anything less than the respect and honor we are worthy of.  It is even ok to ask for respect verbally.  This might be met with a strange look at first but say it, walk away and stand firm.

Second:   Ensure you are Setting Clear Communication

Transforming the dynamics of relationships and creating an environment where you are honored and treated with the dignity you deserve starts with self-empowerment and the second point, clear communication. First and foremost, it is crucial to recognize your own self-worth and believe in your inherent value. This self-confidence will radiate and set the tone for how others perceive and interact with you. Establishing clear boundaries is equally important.

Learning to communicate your expectations and non-negotiables, asserting what is acceptable and what is not in your relationships. Be firm and consistent in upholding these boundaries, showing others that you value yourself and expect to be treated with respect. Additionally, cultivate open and honest communication with those around you. Express your feelings, concerns, and needs assertively, but respectfully. Encourage healthy dialogue and actively listen to the perspectives of others. By fostering mutual respect and understanding, you are creating an environment where your voice is heard, your feelings are validated, and your dignity is upheld. Remember, transforming relationship dynamics takes time and effort, but by asserting your worth, setting boundaries, and promoting open communication, you can cultivate a space where you are honored and treated with the dignity you truly deserve.

Transforming the dynamics of relationships and creating an environment where you are honored and treated with the dignity you deserve starts with self-empowerment and clear communication. First and foremost, it is crucial to recognize your own self-worth and believe in your inherent value. This self-confidence will radiate and set the tone for how others perceive and interact with you. Establishing clear boundaries is equally important. Communicate your expectations and non-negotiables, asserting what is acceptable and what is not in your relationships. Be firm and consistent in upholding these boundaries, showing others that you value yourself and expect to be treated with respect. Additionally, cultivate open and honest communication with those around you. Express your feelings, concerns, and needs assertively, but respectfully. Encourage healthy dialogue and actively listen to the perspectives of others. By fostering mutual respect and understanding, you can create an environment where your voice is heard, your feelings are validated, and your dignity is upheld. Remember, transforming relationship dynamics takes time and effort, but by asserting your worth, setting boundaries, and promoting open communication, you can cultivate a space where you are honored and treated with the dignity you truly deserve.

So what does God say about this…..

God tells us in Matthew 22:39 (NIV): “Love your neighbor as yourself.’” This verse highlights the importance of self-love and self-care as a foundation for loving and caring for others. It implies that cherishing oneself is an essential aspect of living a fulfilling and balanced life. By recognizing and valuing our own worth, we are better equipped to extend love, compassion, and care to those around us. It serves as a reminder that self-cherishing is not selfishness, but rather a necessary component of healthy relationships and a reflection of the love that God desires for each of His children.