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Dancing Through Marriage with God as Your Partner Too!!

If there is one things I know it is that Marriage is not perfect.  I learned it is not equal.  There is not this perfect partnership where each partner gives 50% and all is incredible. After years of marriage, if you wait until your partner meets you with all that you need, you might be waiting for 40 years like I did!!! 

 I do not know where I got this idea that marriage was going to be this 50-50 relationship and he was going to be this man that was going to meet ME where I NEEDED to be met.  Oh I know there will be some that will tell me I am wrong, but that is ok this is my blog!

I feel marriage is often portrayed as the ultimate union, a blissful partnership where two people come together, complement each other perfectly, and ride off into the sunset. But the reality is far from this idealistic image. Marriage is messy, complicated, and far from perfect. It’s a journey filled with highs and lows, victories and defeats, joy and pain.  My husband and I have shared losses together, grieved babies, siblings, parents and have felt pain. In those times, we grieved on different time scales.

One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned in my own marriage is that it’s not always equal. Despite our best efforts to divide responsibilities and share the load, one person inevitably ends up feeling like they’re giving more than the other. It’s a common source of frustration and tension in many marriages, mine included.

For years, I held onto the hope that my partner would eventually meet me halfway, that they would somehow magically fulfill all my needs and desires. But the truth is, I was waiting in vain. Marriage isn’t about finding someone who completes you; it’s about two imperfect people coming together and navigating life’s challenges as a team.

I spent decades chasing after an unrealistic ideal fueled by sermons and Hallmark movies, only to be met with disappointment and heartache. It wasn’t until I accepted that my marriage would never be perfect that I was able to find peace and contentment.

That’s not to say that marriage isn’t worth fighting for. Despite its imperfections, marriage can be incredibly rewarding and fulfilling. It’s about embracing the imperfections, learning to compromise, and choosing love every single day.

So if you’re struggling in your own marriage, know that you’re not alone. It’s okay to acknowledge the flaws and imperfections, to struggle and stumble along the way. What matters most is that you keep showing up, keep putting in the effort, and keep choosing love, even when it’s hard.

Marriage may not be perfect, but it’s the imperfect moments that make it beautiful. It’s in the struggles and the challenges that we grow closer together, forging a bond that can withstand the test of time. And in the end, isn’t that what marriage is truly about?

As a Christian, I’ve turned to my faith for guidance and support in navigating the ups and downs of married life.

In the Bible, marriage is portrayed as a covenant between two individuals and God. It’s a commitment to love and cherish each other, for better or for worse, in sickness and in health. This biblical perspective reminds me that marriage is more than just a legal contract or a romantic partnership; it’s a spiritual journey that requires patience, humility, and faith.

Something happened one day I started praying for my husband.  I started to see him in a different light.  Not as this man that always did things to make me fuming but as a man God created and I felt like helping him more.  As I let go of some of those things he did that bugged me, he sarted wanting to help me in ALL THOSE PLACES I wanted him to change in!!!  WOW!!  Now this did not happen overnight and it was hard for me to wait for what I thought was F O R E V E R!!!  But a sweeter marriage is so much more fun!!

As Christians, we’re called to emulate the love and sacrifice of Jesus Christ in our marriages. This means putting the needs of our partner above our own, forgiving each other’s shortcomings, and seeking reconciliation when conflicts arise. It’s a tall order, and one that often requires divine intervention.

Praying together has never been something we did regularly except before out meals, but we have started with praying separately for each other. Knowing he is praying for me helps  provide a source of strength and comfort during difficult times. By surrendering our worries and fears to God, my partner and I have found renewed hope and perspective in our relationship. We’ve learned to trust in God’s plan for our marriage, even when we can’t see the road ahead.

But being a Christian doesn’t exempt us from the challenges of marriage. Like everyone else, we face our fair share of struggles and disagreements. There have been moments when we’ve questioned whether we’re truly meant to be together, whether our differences are too great to overcome.

But through it all, our faith has sustained us. It’s reminded us that marriage is a journey of growth and transformation, both individually and as a couple. It’s taught us to lean on God’s grace and mercy, knowing that His love is greater than any obstacle we may face.

So if you’re struggling in your own marriage, I encourage you to turn to your faith for guidance and support. Trust in God’s plan for your relationship, and remember that He is with you every step of the way. With His help, you can weather the storms of marriage and emerge stronger and more resilient than ever before.