Saturday, January 26, 2013. Why me?

I talked to a friend yesterday and found out she had breast cancer and told me she had never been sick a day in her life.  No one in her family had cancer and her biggest question was “why me?”  She was fine one day and after a routine mammogram, she was facing the big “C”.  I have never heard her talk about God in the past, but today she did.  She knows my walk with God, so felt comfortable to tell me she felt God wanted her to learn something, or as she indicated, this was what people were telling her right now.  She wanted to know what God wanted her to know.

I was not sure what to tell her, but here is what was in my heart that I shared.  I told her that sure, that could be the case, but perhaps she was also supposed to be strong for someone else that would be going through the same cancer treatments and her going down the path now was to show her friend the way someday in the future.  Or perhaps being strong (she felt she was not) was going to be the beacon of strength for someone else.

I am not sure God allows sorrow and pain in our life for us to learn something.  When I lost many babies due to miscarriage, I was able to talk to many other women in my path later on that needed someone to understand them.  God must love my friend right now to allow this to be in her life.  I look forward to walking with her through this to see how God will work through her.

Wednesday, January 23, 2013. Our Desires are all in His Plan.

Many times we ask ourself, how do we know what God’s will for our life is? Let me start by saying we are pretty much asking ourselves what does God want me to do tomorrow, or next week, or …. some time in the future.  To help myself through this question I have drawn the following conclusion.  Now, this is just my thoughts so I hope they help you.

God wants us to live each day of our life for Him.  I also feel He wants us to use the talents He gave us and the gifts He gave us.  He gave us all gifts and talents that we use everyday and I also believe He gave us desires.  That is all a beautiful plan He crafted.  SOOO, if we can paint and create, that is a gift God have us, it only makes sense (to me) that His plan for our life is to use that gift somewhere.  If He gives you the talent to be a leader, then perhaps we need to not be afraid of stepping in front of the crowd and leading! In other words, live for today, trust today in your desires.  I really think God put desires in our hearts to let us know the path He wants us to go.  I meant think about it.

In other words, we live by faith, trusting in the Lord today, fine tuning those gifts and talents He gave us, by this process God is preparing us for future service and HE will get us to where He wants us.

Tuesday, January 15, 2013. The Emotional Well … keep it full.

I woke out of a sound sleep with the blog for today.  Wow, was I dreaming it?  Or was God whispering this to me.  Ok, either way (and I am sure it was the latter) I need to get it down.  Remember the blog I wrote a couple days back about the walls we as women put up?  The story about the young couple and the snowballs?  Well, I have thought over the years what could prevent a woman from building those walls or at least not too high!

I call it the “emotional well”

As we get busy in our daily life, we get drawn into ourself and go about doing “our thing.”  We sing and flitter around and keep focussed on what where we are going.  Sometimes what we are doing is not quite in line with what our spouses or our loved ones are doing.  I am talking about husbands and wives, daughter and moms, boyfriend and girlfriends.  AND, if that other person gets in our verse….  I am talking about .. We are singing a song and he interrupts you in the MIDDLE of the verse right when you are singing about the emotional stuff.  You glare at him for not realizing you were not done with your final emotional drama.  He wants to say something and needs to say it now as he is also in his mode of getting ready for work or feels his man- thoughts are more important than yours.   Inside you think….  I am still in the emotional draw of my song and you don’t care. You feel you are not even there!

So, this is where you both draw into your “emotional wells.” Ok, here is the catch….  to draw something out, you have to had put something in, right?  I believe if we both make an effort (and to put something in is an effort) to put in MORE than we know the other will take out.  You see, you put in so when you are not thinking and are grumpy, the other can draw from it when you snnaaaap.  If you never put into the well your love, your kindness, your humor, your consideration, when you need to snnnaaaap, there is nothing for the other person to draw from.  And believe me they will snnnnaaapppp back in a big way.  BUT, if you have a ton of inputs into the well, the other person feels safe.  They know you will put back into the well.  I hope this all makes sense.  It is actually human nature.  But it only works if you both work hard on giving (putting into the well) and if you put in more than you draw on.

Later I will blog about what to do if you are putting into the emotional well and he is adding…. well, nothing!!! OR if after years, you just doing feel safe anymore.

Sunday, January 13, 2013. God knows our secret dreams….


Most of your know I live daily with pain.  I have FM.  Fibromyalgia, a pain that is in the entire body and there is no cure.  Lately I have been battling pain in my shoulder, arm, neck that is almost debilitating.  Doctors have sent me to PT with no benefit.  I have tried everything my friends tell me about…. even recently the “dry needle!!!”  There are hours and days I am in more pain than I can deal with.

I am not complaining, I am actually rejoicing.   With this disease, I have learned to really appreciate everything, everyday.

Also as most of you know I started my own business last year. I joined my company with my business partner.  I was asked to be a Key Note speaker in Vienna, Austria at the 2012 Euro Risk Summit.  I was fearful to take this journey…. how could I tote my luggage, handle a long flight, deal with being away from a doctor if I need one? God opened a door for me and I walked through.  When God opens a door He walks through that door with you, He does not just push you inside and say, good luck!!!

God knew one of my life long dreams was to travel in Europe one last time before I was too crippled to travel.  I wanted to see Italy, the Eiffel Tower, Rome, Venice, Florence and eat spaghetti!!

Here is how God worked. I introduced my business partner to the summit and he was asked to be the lead for one of the risk tracks and speak with me.  So off we went to our speaking engagement and … yes, I was able to visit all those places in my dreams.  I will never forget the smells of Italian cooking, the sounds of the long train trip to Venice, the feel of the Eiffel Tower to my fingers, the sight of people from all over the world in Rome and the experience of speaking at an International Summit.

If I were to ask you to take one thing away from my experience, I would want you to know that God knows our dreams, even ones we thing we will NEVER get to experience, HE knows.  When I stop during my busy day to have an espresso, I go back to my summer when God showed me once again He knows.

Saturday, January 12, 2013. When the starts go out each night…..

Song by Josh Groban

When stars go out each night,
remind us where you are
Let this be our prayer, when shadows fill our day
Help us find a place, guide us with your grace
Give us faith so we’ll be safe
A world where pain and sorrow will be ended
And every heart that’s broken will be mended
And we’ll remember we are all God’s children
Reaching out to touch you
Reaching to the sky
We ask that life be kind, and watch us from above
We hope each soul will find another soul to love
Let this be our prayer, just like every child
Who needs to find a place, guide us with your grace
Give us faith so we’ll be safe
Needs to find a place, guide us with your grace
Give us faith so we’ll be safe

Song sent to me by my husband

Friday, January 11, 2013. Love has many Seasons

I am watching a romance bloom with the excitement of new love.  Each other learning about each other.  The little things do not bother the other and each finds those little things actually cute.  Kindness is forefront and consideration is paramount.  My husband and I have been married for almost 30 years.  The cute way I slept has turned into an annoying snore and I am awaken often with a slight push!!  It is blamed on our cat actually.  Love in the English dictionary provide pretty much one definition, “a strong affection for a person or thing”.  But as we do further research, we also find the Greek language provides us different ways the word “love” is used.  Agape love:  the Bible speaks to this word as true love, a sacrificial love or the unconditional love of God. (Corinthians 13).  Then there is the “Philia” love, the friendship or affection love for a loyal friend or family member.  This includes the love of being together.  Now, “Storge” love in modern Greek means natural affection.  This reminds me of the love you have for your children no matter what they do.  “Eros” love which is the passionate love and desire expressed for each other.
I think as there are many definitions for the word love, we can all feel these types of love, all at once, some more than others and even feel several of them for the same person.
As we mature through life, we experience levels of pain, loss, joy, contentment, hate and hurt.  All these make a mark on our life.  Some make a deeper mark than others.  I like to call them the seasons of our life.  As we grow in our relationships or as individuals, we react to the life situations all in different ways.  As I had to live through miscarriages, losing my sibling, getting sick, building my business, seeing my parents get older and just getting older myself, I had to let go of some dreams and found myself finding other dreams.  As I was going through my seasons of my life, my love for my husband took different shapes and directions.  Sometimes I did not feel like loving anyone.  Sometimes I wanted more love and a simple touch was not enough.  There were days I wanted assurance of security.  Love takes many forms in our life.  Even though we are not in the stages of the initial romantic whirlwind, we still love, we still care, we still need love; it might just look different.
You know, there was one love that never changed.  That of God’s love.  No matter what season I am in, God’s agape love is unwavering.

Monday, January 7, 2013. Resolutions or Restitution’s??

I got to thinking about the New Year and how many of us, me included think about “resolutions” for our new year and what we want to start doing or in most cases, do “right!”  I thought about the word resolution and thought to myself, mine are all restitutions!!!  Is that a bad thing?
So, I looked up the word restitution and found that this word meant “the act of restoring.”  At my age, I have a lot to restore and that is a good thing.  We all make resolutions every year, whether or not we call them by another name.  Psalm 51:12 says “Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and uphold me with a willing spirit.”  I got to thinking, it is not the resolution we made that will make us successful in keeping our promise, it is the willing heart, the willing spirit.  It is also this joy of life and our walk with God. I own my company and yet I cannot be a success alone.  I need my family, my business partner and first and foremost, I need God.  So, ANY resolution, and restitution I pen down in my journal, I want to make sure it is not just pen on paper, I want it to be prayerfully penned.  Whether your walk with God is strong or just a breathe let His arms support your resolutions.  I love you all.

Tuesday, January 1, 2013. Walls we have build in 2012.

While up in the mountains this past Christmas, I sat and watch a young couple throw snowballs at each other.  After about 10 snow balls hit the young woman, she decide to protect herself and she started building a wall of snow to hide behind.  She piled more and more snow on her wall to protect herself.  The young man was trying as hard as he could to hit her, unaware of the wall she was building, he was focused on hitting her with a fresh snowball.  She was not even dodging the snow balls anymore, she was more intent on getting her wall up for protection.  I thought about how as women, we do this in our own life’s.  Men seem to put feeling in a room within a window and close the door and move on.  What men do not understand is that once a woman builds that wall of protection, it is only her that can take it down.  The more snowballs of hurt that are thrown, the higher or deeper the wall becomes.  We build them in silence to those around us.  Have you build a wall yourself?  Are you hiding behind a wall to feel safe.  Do you occasionally take down some of the wall then build it back up again?  I think we all build walls of some sort.